whaaa happened?

i'm ready for it all to be over. for what to be over? i know that what gets me down pales in comparison to what others face, but the way i'm looking at it now is that it's my life i have to deal with and i have to be with myself all the time.

fact is that i just don't like who i am right now.

i'm tired of being told "i don't know" by fully trained professionals. i'm tired of waking up with an aching shoulder and aching heart. i'm tired of worrying who will take care of me when i need it. i'm tired of worrying about superficial things. i'm tired of being the only one of my friends who is 1) not in a meaningful relationship and/or 2) not pregnant or already with children. i'm tired of pretending that everything is okay. i'm tired of being told that everything will be fine. i'm tired of being the object of Murphy's Law. i'm tired of telling myself that i'm not feeling all these things. and i'm tired of feeling all these things.