whaaa happened?

my Uncle Bill has been in poor health recently, much of it due to incompetence on the part of doctors. i never saw him routinely when i was growing up, but the occasional visit every now and then was fun. there is enough of an age gap and always enough of a geographical gap between me and Justin and his kids that while we're cousins, we never hung out much and saw each other pretty infrequently.

my cousin Mark brought his future wife by our home to meet my parents - in a way, to get their approval, because his mom (my mom's only sibling) passed away shortly after Justin was born. i've wished so often that i could have met her, could have known her, could have heard stories about my mom from her perspective. sometimes i ask my mom simple questions about her, but i know it still hurts her too much and the conversations about my Aunt quickly turn in another direction.

Mark's sister, Lisa, was always someone that i wanted to be like. as i said before, i hardly ever saw her, but the few times i did, she was just so stunning - articulate, beautiful, smart, funny, and caring. she is now a tenured professor at Cal and we feel her career outside of teaching is just beginning to take off.

so, back to Uncle Bill. he lives in Brentwood now, which is just past Pittsburg and Antioch. my cousin Lisa has been caring for him at his home for a few months now and this weekend was finally a time that everyone involved could meet. so i drove to Monterey on Friday after work (was supposed to be home around 7, but thanks to the miracle of science, that was delayed a few hours). we drove up to Brentwood on Saturday morning, checked into our hotel and then headed over to see Uncle Bill and Lisa. fortunately, Uncle Bill was feeling better that day and was out for a walk with his dog and a friend, so we had Lisa to ourselves for a bit when we arrived. i think the last time i saw her was 7 or 8 years ago, but i instantly felt a weird connection to her like i had previously - maybe it's because we have the same grandparents, or maybe we'd be friends even if we weren't related.

we caught up with Lisa and then her husband made a surprise (to us) visit. Uncle Bill came home shortly after, and he looked better than i anticipated he would. he certainly looked much older than the last time i saw him, but given what he's been through over the past 6 months, i thought he looked great. Lisa had made dinner and Uncle Bill seemed to follow most of our conversation - smiled at appropriate times, was able to answer questions, would chime in when prompted, but was mostly quiet. most of the conversation revolved around what Lisa and her husband have been up to, which suited Uncle Bill just fine because we know what a proud papa he is. he turned in for the night and we left shortly after, then drove back to Monterey today.

instead of taking the highways all the way back, we drove through rural Brentwood into Concord. the lush green hills, farms, and country roads were beautiful. lots of wildflowers were in bloom and my mom remembered driving some of those areas with my grandpa when she was little. we made our way into Walnut Creek, where my mom grew up. my grandparents lived on the Bancroft farm, raised my mom and her sister there, and lived there until 1976, when they moved to Monterey.

it was the first time i remember being there, and it was so special hearing my mom tell stories about when she was little. she and my dad remembered the exact layout of the property and while all the nearby orchards have been replaced by condos, homes, and businesses, the house where my mom grew up is still there. i saw the building that was my grandpa's shed, where he worked during the day. i saw the house that my mom's first boyfriend lived in (they shared a tricycle when they were 5). i saw the barn that the Bancrofts stored my grandparents' possessions in while they were interned. i stood under the same eucalyptus tree that my mom stood under 65 years ago. the same tree that my Auntie Joy stood under.

i think that it all didn't quite sink in while i was there. i was proud of myself for not crying, because i usually do when i think of my grandparents. i was focused on hearing what my parents had to say about this amazing family that cared for my mom's family when they were shunned by other people, by their own government. but now, i'm looking at the pictures, seeing my mom and her sister as little girls, and the tears are coming.

there's so much to process from this weekend: my Uncle's health, how my cousins are caring for him, my mom's childhood, my grandparents. i've never felt closer to my cousin Lisa or my Auntie Joy as i do right now, and i hope that feeling won't leave me for a long time.